A sex therapist's advice on choosing the right sex toy

A sex therapist's advice on choosing the right sex toy

Posted by Pauline Capmas-Delarue, Health Journalist, on 02/12/2021 at 2:21 PM

More than one in two French people has used a sex toy in their lifetime, according to an Ifop poll for Passage du Desire published this week. By comparison, in 2007 less than 10% of French people said they had used these items. The use of naughty toys has thus become commonplace in just under ten years.

"To the point where we're even considering it as a potential Valentine's Day gift that might have been totally inappropriate and inappropriate in a romantic relationship thirty years ago," notes Dr. Sébastien Garnero, doctor of psychology and sexologist.

As the market today offers an extremely wide range of choice, the latter has agreed to advise us on choosing the right sex toy according to his profile and desires.In this slideshow we summarize the 7 questions that the expert says you should ask yourself before Purchase should make, and come back to his explanations in more detail below.

Determine what you will use it for

"The first thing to consider before buying your sex toy is determining how you're going to use it, what areas you want to stimulate, and who you want to use it with," says the doctor of psychology.

With good reason, the choice in specialist shops is huge. There are sex toys for men and women aimed at stimulating internal or external erogenous zones, for solo use or not, or even designed according to sexual orientation.

"Besides the genital erogenous zones, there are many secondary erogenous zones," recalls the specialist. "The sex toy can therefore be part of a physical exploration that favors the discovery of new personal erogenous zones."

Its use is often plural and varies according to the location, individual expectations or the couple, the stimulation desired ... the realization of a sexual fantasy.

Sex toy: don't neglect the quality of the object

In any case, the sex therapist insists on choosing a quality object, both in terms of the materials used and compliance with health standards. Check for the presence of the logo of conformity with European standards (CE) and always prefer a sex toy one recognized brands (Dorcel, Lelo, Passage du Desire, Womanizer ...).

If the naughty toy contains phthalates or other controversial substances, or smells strongly of petroleum, flee. Always prefer silicone over latex to limit the risk of an allergic reaction, and opt for a battery model instead of batteries. Don't forget it clean with soap and water after each use and dry well before storing in a clean and dry place.

Naughty toys: Don't overdo it

The use of sex toys can spice up your sexuality by discovering new horizons and thus prove to be very beneficial ... As long as you do not fall into excessive or exclusive use. In fact, this "could condition the orgasmic process only to the use of the sex toy, what can cause some people to have a form of partial anorgasmia with their partner," warns Sébastien Garnero.

“In the same sense, their use must be relatively limited in that nothing replaces a natural sexuality,” adds the expert. “The whole human body is already a great source of erotic inspiration for the couple; and the imagination, the erotic body and the fantasies are in fact the main engine of libido and sexual desire”.

Likewise, there is no point in forcing yourself if you don't feel the urge to experiment with this type of toy, or forcing your partner's hand if he doesn't want to use it. If sex toys an original and highly erotic gift for Valentine's Day are, "you can also give a piece of jewelry or another symbol of your connection, it remains a beautiful gift of love," the psychologist remembers.


Thanks to Sebastien Garnero, DR Psychology Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist, Sexologist and Lecturer at the University of Paris 5.

The French and sex toys: the big poll, Ifop for Dorcelstore.com, February 2017.

Visio, work, vibrator... Sextoys and sexual well-being at the time of Covid-19, Ifop for Passage du Desire, February 2021.

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Tags: sex